eBay sent out a seller update out earlier today and most of it was “Yes, yes. Fine, fine.” Then I got to this part:

New seller standard: Buyer Protection cases counted along with low DSRs. You’re on the right track!

Opening a case with the eBay or PayPal Buyer Protection program is a clear indication of buyer dissatisfaction, especially when the buyer tries and is unable to resolve an issue directly with the seller. That’s why, starting in September, “item not received” and “item not as described” cases will be considered along with low DSRs to evaluate and reward seller performance.

The “You’re on the right track” bit is because I currently meet this requirement.

Um…. I’ve been selling on eBay for many years now and I have had lots of buyers start “Item not received” or “Item not as described cases”. But here’s the thing, eBay. Of all of those, only five were actually buyers whose item didn’t arrive or wasn’t as described or who had a problem at all for that matter.

All the others. Let me repeat, ALL THE OTHERS were buyer who opened the case because, as they told me, “They weren’t sure how else to email the seller to ask a question.”

So if this is going to count toward my freaking DSRs, are you going to make it clearer what the process is for? Better yet, is there going to be a way for buyer and seller to amicably close the case if it was started under newbie confusion?

So then I check out the FAQ on this:

Are cases decided in the seller’s favor counted toward the requirement? What about a case I resolve promptly with the buyer as soon as I know it’s been opened?
The count of opened cases is determined before resolution and therefore may include some cases ultimately decided in the seller’s favor, and/or cases where you promptly settle with the buyer. For this reason the opened cases requirement allows for more instances before consequences are enforced. These cases are NOT included in the count of seller unresolved cases, which is why this requirement is more strict—fewer instances are allowed before consequences such as loss of eBay Top-rated or PowerSeller status or demotion in search results are enforced.

Why is eBay even including a count of all cases, including those ultimately found in the seller’s favor, or cases I resolve promptly with my customer?
Sellers are always expected to follow best practices that result in smooth transactions and high buyer satisfaction. Likewise, buyers are always encouraged to contact sellers first with any issues. For the vast majority of transactions, this direct buyer-seller communication works just the way it should. When a buyer is motivated to open a case with eBay or PayPal this is a clear sign of dissatisfaction. A high rate of opened cases is an indication that some aspect of a seller’s service requires attention—regardless of the outcome of the case.

So if my newbie buyer opens a case because they couldn’t figure out how to email me, too bad, it counts against me. If buyer simply misread the description (the sort of transaction that would be like Buyer says “X” I point out “Y” and then say, Oh duh, nevermind) this now counts against me.

You know, I am the first to defend some of the asinine changes eBay makes because I believe that the buyer is basically good. But I also believe that the average person is basically dumb and won’t read things. I don’t see this as a malicious thing, just people don’t read things before they click. But counting claims filed against you regardless of their outcome AND regardless of if they were started in error or even fraudulently is utterly ridiculous. Give me a fighting chance here!

You’re now putting me and my business at the mercy of YOUR site verbiage, do you realize that? How effectively I can sell is now totally dependent on how clear your stupid My eBay section reads to newbies. Because if your words are unclear and someone starts a claim by mistake, I get penalized even if it has nothing the hell to do with me or how my business is run.

I can’t even see how your warped logic is spinning this. If I’m a good seller, my buyers will never get confused? Good sellers only sell to customer who understand everything perfectly? WTH?

And you know what, yes, right now this change doesn’t effect me worth a damn. I am still in Top Rated compliance and everything is happy there. I haven’t seen a claim in a long while. But the unfairness of this change and the danger of it when its a big newbie season like Christmas scares the hell out of me. More importantly, this change is putting the burden on the seller for your own damn verbiage. Its the equivalent of billing us sellers for your server downtime.

So now, in addition to begging my buyers to ignore your ridiculous star system, I have to beg them not to get confused and start a claim by mistake? To the average buyer, us sellers must seem like conspiracy theorists.

I’m too annoyed to be coherent right now.

UPDATE: Sorry, I know I just posted this but I had to update this rant. From ColderICE’s reaction to this same update:

Also new to the fray and starting in June will be anonymous email which will keep all buyer emails hidden, but will also remove the need for the “yellow button” that I personally hate. Every user account on eBay will be assigned an anonymous email address which will be used during email conversations with other eBay users. When you receive an email from another eBay user, you simply click on the “reply” button in your email client (such as Yahoo or Gmail) to respond. When you click the “reply” button, the anonymous email address will be put in the “to” address field. Your message will be sent to the recipient’s actual email address and their My Messages account via the anonymous email address.

So, you know, at the same time that they are raising the stakes for sellers where if a buyer mistakenly uses the Buyer Protection process just as a way to email the seller, then made it HARDER FOR BUYERS AND SELLERS TO CONTACT EACH OTHER!!!

I just have no words.

Here’s the rest of the update (I left in the personalized bits):

Summer seller update: More efficient listing, new seller standard, and more

As a valued seller, you play a key role in keeping eBay a thriving marketplace. We’re making updates this summer and fall to help increase your profitability by helping you sell more efficiently and increase buyer satisfaction. As promised, we’re continuing to consolidate changes that impact you into two or three releases per year with lead time to adapt. This is the second release for 2010.

More detailed values for item condition

Clarity around item condition goes a long way to reducing buyer questions, low DSRs, and Buyer Protection cases. To make it easier to clearly specify condition, a more descriptive set of values is being introduced in many categories.

What this means for you: Specifying one of the new item conditions will be required in some categories in new listings, revised listings, and sell similar starting July 27, 2010, and in Good ‘Til Cancelled renewals in 2011. Find out when the new condition values will be available in your categories and whether or not they will be required.

New seller standard: Buyer Protection cases counted along with low DSRs. You’re on the right track!

Opening a case with the eBay or PayPal Buyer Protection program is a clear indication of buyer dissatisfaction, especially when the buyer tries and is unable to resolve an issue directly with the seller. That’s why, starting in September, “item not received” and “item not as described” cases will be considered along with low DSRs to evaluate and reward seller performance.

The good news for you: Congratulations! You’re right on track to meet this requirement. You can monitor your status toward this new requirement–and track any cases–on your Seller Dashboard.

Faster ways to edit listings

To help you stay on top in an increasingly dynamic marketplace, we’re introducing new functionality and tools to make it faster and easier to edit, list, and relist multiple items–up to 5,000 listings at once–plus bulk edit multi-variation listings and listings in eBay Motors Parts & Accessories with parts compatibility information.

Other updates include:

  • Changes to Payment and Leave Feedback email reminders
  • Anonymous email addresses to keep member-to-member communications secure. If you have your own customer relationship management system to manage contacts with your customers, we suggest you run a test in advance of the new member-to-member communication enhancements. Find out how.
  • New rewards for sharing your pictures to enhance the eBay catalog
  • Featured First discontinued to surface the most relevant listings from sellers offering the best value and service
  • Category and Item Specific changes included with other updates
  • Get details on all the 2010 summer seller updates. For more insight, you’re also invited to:
  • Take part in the upcoming webinar on Thursday, April 29
  • Join me and other leaders from eBay and PayPal in a Town Hall meeting on Wednesday, April 28. Check the Announcement Board for more details coming soon
  • Talk with members of my staff during the next two days on a special discussion board we’ve set up for this purpose.
  • As always, thank you for partnering to make eBay a thriving, successful marketplace.

Sincerely,

Dinesh Lathi
Vice President
Seller and Buyer Experience