eBay, can we talk a minute?

You know how I feel about money orders and checks. I hate them. They are slow, easy to fake and a general pain in the neck. I have been eagerly waiting for you to ban them for years because as long as they are an option, at sort of have to offer them.

So you banned all paper payment methods. In fact, the deadline for sellers to remove all mention of checks and money orders is today, January 15th. Don’t think I don’t appreciate that you got rid of them, dude, because I do.

But my issue this, well partial rumped way you did it. Oh, heck, let’s just spell it out. This policy was half assed. I mean, man, if you are going to ban something, BAN it.

Instead money orders and checks are on double super secret probation: they are banned, but you are still allowed to offer them. Sellers are allowed to accept money orders and checks, they just aren’t allowed to tell anyone that they do.

I don’t understand this logic. This loophole makes three things:

  • more confusion (Your listing says nothing about taking paper payments, do you accept them or not?)
  • more email back and forth (Isn’t the whole point of having all that text in your listings to head off email questions before they arrive? This policy just makes more email and makes communication less efficient because now they have to email and ask since we can’t say it in the listings.)
  • more fuel for the foil hatters who claim its all a conspiracy to force everyone to use PayPal

Also, if I may be completely petty, it makes me get emails like this:

Do you except money orders? Alot of sellers still do but you need to ask.:)

This is an actual email we got from a buyer. My issues with this are as follows:

  • Not to get all, do-you-know-who-I-am but yes, thank you, I am aware of how this policy works. You don’t need to educate me on the latest eBay policies. I hate when buyers with 5 feedbacks feel obligated to tell me how eBay works.
  • I may be reading way too much into this but her tone makes it seem like, well, a lot of other sellers take money orders so you should be taking them as well. Don’t tell me what to do, missy!
  • Except? Alot? Don’t make me [sic] my high school English teacher on you! (You like what I did there?)

Of course, what we answered was something along the lines of, “Sure, we take money orders no problem! :-)” (Our business is run with a liberal use of the smiley face.)

Sorry, eBay, I got a little off topic there. But you see what I am saying, right man? You’ve left me in the weird limbo where I can only accept money orders if someone comes to the back door and asks for Charlie. You are making me run my business like a speakeasy, dude, and that makes me feel unclean!

OK, I’m done. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. You’ve been doing a great job overall, there so you’ll have to excuse this little freak out. But I don’t know whether to be mad about this or just confused.

But if you are going to make a policy change like this in the future, man, grab it by the balls and MAKE IT. Don’t be all, this is our policy. Or not. Whatever.

When it comes to policy making, use your whole ass!